clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize