so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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