"it" just moved
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
