dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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