their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
