do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
