woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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