So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
