I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
