I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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