were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
