Sry I called you an 8
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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