ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
