We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
