He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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