Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
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I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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