we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize