The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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