who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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