just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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