I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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