I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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