whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
how drunk are you?
Several
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
