My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize