i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
