she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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