lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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