So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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