the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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