dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
