I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
