no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
