so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He shit in the fireplace
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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