she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
