the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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