ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
