it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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