and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you inspire me to be a worse person
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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