she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
