I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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