he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
