Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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