What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize