So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
