Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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