Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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