i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
