My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
