i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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