I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
