Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
