I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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