Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
