Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
