She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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