I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
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all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
is it fun? or sober?
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