He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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