Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I love having hate sex.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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