Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
